“You are the Problem with Your Money!”

On December 21, 2006, my husband & I sat down with our children around the computer which displayed our bleak financial situation. We made a decision that evening that has forever altered our destiny, second only to our commitment to accept Jesus as Lord of our lives. In actuality, we were making Christ the Lord of our life in a very real and practical way that we never had before and the impact of that choice continues to resonate with blessings beyond our imagination. We decided to do a total money makeover following the Baby Steps set out in Dave Ramsey’s book appropriately named “The Total Money Makeover”.

Shawn & I were roughly $40,000 in debt over and above our mortgage and steadily spending more money every month than our two incomes provided. We were never late making our payments and outwardly we looked fine, doing better than a lot of other people. We weren’t bad spenders by our standards. We tithed, paid our bills, had a comfortable home in a nice neighborhood, and owned 3 vehicles along with the average stuff that the “normal” family enjoys. Our vehicles were used; we didn’t have cable or satellite, no bad habits to speak of…so why didn’t we have any money? My husband had monthly child support payments that also ate into the income that wasn’t paying the mortgage, the credit cards, and a hefty consolidation loan.

Inwardly, though, we were sick. There was no joy in giving when it felt like it was leading us further down the path of debt. It felt wrong. There was little joy in purchasing anything because any satisfaction was dulled by the keen realization that we were sinking deeper into a pit that we would never get out of. Our marriage that was once passionate and full of dreams for the future had dwindled down to sacrificial tolerance after years of arguments and outright fights that usually were rooted in money issues. As a wife I was tired of feeling guilty for buying groceries or necessities for our family and the part-time jobs that had stolen my attention from the most precious years with my children. My husband went to work every day to a job he didn’t really enjoy but paid an enviable wage that kept us afloat. We were tired, angry, desperate and becoming increasingly cynical about our faith and its ability to play a part in everyday life. How could we share our faith? Who would want to be like us?

We had tried to fix our financial problem. We prayed daily for God to rescue us from our problems. We worked more hours and would go on spending diets that would lead to spending binges when we were too tired and stressed to care anymore. We refinanced. We couldn’t resist entering any free sweepstakes or contests and gave to our church as though we were playing a spiritual lottery. One day that answer to all our prayers would arrive in our mailbox and all our problems would go away. Of course, that didn’t happen and we were smart enough to realize that we didn’t have the answers so we decided to find people wiser than us and ask what we should do. We called my dad.

Dad sat down with Shawn and went over our bills and budget. We weren’t asking for money but he suggested that we take a sum from him and apply it to certain debts that had high interest. After that, if we didn’t spend any money over and above our budget for a whole year, we would be in good shape. I looked at dad like he had two heads. How in the world would we stop the flow of spending that had shaped our entire marriage for a year?! Dad encouraged us and sent us away with his generous loan, but a year later we owed almost exactly what we had the year before…plus the money my dad had provided. We all learned later that loaning money to family is very risky to relationships because it changes to a servant/master dynamic that is destructive. That didn’t happen in our case, but we know others who have experienced problems due to this “solution”.

The following year, realizing that we had failed once again, I sat down with my mom and shared my frustration with her. I reassured her that we would repay the loan and that we weren’t looking for more help in that way, but we were unhappy and nothing was working for us. We needed some kind of help because you just can’t continue to spend more money than you make year after year without hitting a wall. I didn’t want to hit that wall. This time, my mom had a different solution to offer and I am forever grateful that she told me about a book that offered a strategy that really works. My sister, Jaime and my brother, Brian were both using the principles and they were doing well financially as a result. The church was using the book as a resource for the finance class and she suggested I take it. I was hungry for real change as other issues were surfacing in my life so I listened to her wise advice.

I didn’t have much time for reading so I found Dave Ramsey’s “Total Money Makeover” in audio format at www.audible.com and it happened to be on sale half price that very day. I downloaded the book and started to listen. Dave’s punchy humor made me laugh even as his sharp, admonishing words sliced through my heart. “You are the problem with your money!”, he yelled and I knew he was right. I was riveted for 5 consecutive hours, listening late into the night and when the book was finished, I had a vision of what our future could and would be for the first time in my life. Real hope. This was the answer to all those prayers we had prayed. There was a sense of urgency too, like the clock was ticking and God had provided us this opportunity to get our finances in order in preparation for changes in the economy to come.

I gave the recording to my husband the next morning. I repented for the ways my behavior had hindered us from having healthier finances and looking him in the eyes told him that I thought we were capable of doing Dave’s plan. I believed once we began going in the right direction that God would help us. I was willing to make the sacrifice and was certain that we would be out of debt in two years if we followed the steps. Shawn wasn’t excited right away. He would listen to it but we had been down a long road and he was cautious of false hope. I knew he would love the whole idea once he heard it because Shawn’s dream to be debt-free had been spoken many times. It was me who thought being debt-free was unrealistic.

I watched Shawn eagerly while he listened that evening. He laughed too and would stop now and then and tell me “This guy is good!”. Afterwards, we discussed our situation seriously alone and with the kids. It wasn’t going to be easy but neither was being in debt and broke and we were going to be “gazelle-intense”. We weren’t going to protect our children from the sacrifice but we were excited that they would also benefit from the eventual rewards and in the process learn from our mistakes.

We began our journey that night and I am excited to share our story with you in the days to come. If our experience can help others get victory in their finances then we are willing to expose our most personal failures, trials and victories. Our hope is that you too, will benefit as we have. Join me as I share the first of many miracles we experienced on the road to financial freedom.